All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful
The Lord God made them all.

But what we never mention though gardeners
know its true,
Is when he made the goodies, He made the
baddies too.

CHORUS

All things spray and swattable
Disasters great and small,
All things paraquatable
The Lord God made them all.

The green fly on the roses, the maggots
in the peas,
Manure that fills our noses, He also gave
us these.

CHORUS

The fungus on the goose-gogs, the club root
on the greens,
The slugs that eat the lettuce and chew
the aubergines.

CHORUS

The drought that kills the fuchsias, the frost
that nips the buds,
The rain that drowns the seedlings, the blight
that hits the spuds.

CHORUS

The midges and mosquitoes, the nettles
and the weeds,
The pigeons in the green stuff, the sparrows
in the seeds.

CHORUS

The fly that gets the carrots, the wasps that
eat the plums,
How black the gardener’s outlook, though
green may be his thumbs.

CHORUS

But still we gardeners labour, midst vegetables
and flowers,
And pray what hits our neighbours, will somehow
bypass ours.

Author Unknown - from Charles Thacker