Following on from last month's 'parking the caravan' saga, we were fortunate enough to witness an example of female assisted parking that may attempt to redress the 'concern' felt by some of our lady readers regarding perceived allegations of their naivety or inability in this department.

We had just parked on a site in East Runton, jockey wheel on the 9" square of concrete, put up our awning and were enjoying a cup of coffee in the sunshine. There were many spaces available, as it was the last week in September. Parking had been relatively easy, as no reversing was required; you simply drove in and stopped at the appropriate spot.

Another car towing a caravan arrived and of all the empty places available decided to park immediately next to us. Surprising? Yes, but it's a free choice … perhaps they were just being sociable or was it a bonding thing like forming mini settlements. Anyway they stopped short of the pitch and the woman got out. "Go and stand on the pitch marker" (the 9" concrete square) he shouted. Off she went and duly stood on the marker.

I took a gulp of coffee and contemplated his intentions. Visions came into my head of him driving into her and as she then lay flat on the ground the car would pass over her prostate body and she was to yell "stop" when the caravan jockey wheel was level with her ankles, thus ensuring accurate parking.

Thankfully he was only using her to 'line-up' as he drove forward and she made her escape at the last moment and went to the rear of the car to give him final directions.

Another gulp of coffee … lets see how she does with directions.

There followed a series of arm waving manoeuvres which reminded me of the restored windmill that you could see from the site in the distance. Perhaps she gained inspiration from the view. "A little further" she called. Now people have differing views on what is 'a little'. Why can't they simply state a length, albeit an estimated length.

Finally he stopped and got out to inspect the accuracy of the parking. He wasn't happy and came over to us enquiring whether it was essential to park your jockey wheel exactly on the concrete pitch marker.

What could I say … the poor woman had done her best. "I'm sure that you are near enough" I suggested and I like to think that I may have averted a dispute that could have ruined their weekend.

M D