What to do in the school summer holidays?

This year's solution was to have holidays in a touring caravan. Not having towed even a trailer before you can imagine the apprehension in towing an 18 foot caravan. Having taken advice from several seasoned caravanners we duly towed our van to the coastal areas of Norfolk and even ventured into Suffolk.

However, it's not just towing the van that you have to worry about for there is also the problem of parking it on a 'pitch' (the name for the space reserved for a caravan). Having your wife direct you whilst reversing a long caravan into a defined 'pitch' is an experience that would test the self control of a saint (and I don't pretend to such religious attributes). The general waving of arms with cries of further back then suddenly 'stop!' needed an element of refinement. Eventually the instructions became intelligible in terms of distance albeit Julie's perception of length is somewhat over optimistic (no personal comparisons I hope). Needless to say Ben was kept firmly in the car whilst these manoeuvres took place.

The ultimate challenge took place at Woodlands, Upper Sheringham where they required you to park so that your jockey wheel (the small one at the front) came to finally rest on a space of concrete only 9" x 9". We had a six day break here so there was at least a reasonable chance that some of this time would still be left after we have 'parked'. Oh ye of little faith, had not Julie received instructions in how to direct the reversing? It was the first reversing run … eight feet became four feet, two feet,

then six inches and stop! Not a chance I thought as I stepped from the car trying to guess how far out we were. It was unbelievable … the jockey wheel dropped directly onto the appointed concrete square. Disbelief turned to euphoria and I pick up Julie in an enormous hug and swung her round in triumph. Fellow caravanners watching this probably thought we were crazy but I feel that some may have understood the significance of this advancement in Women's education.

Of course we still had the problem of the slope. Yes … not all the caravan sites are level. I duly placed wedges under the wheel on one side and lowered the balancing legs using the newly purchased blocks to raise one side. Unfortunately during the next 6 days the blocks sank into the ground and the caravan and everything in it ultimately tilted by at least 5" in the direction of the slope. As Julie pointed out this had its advantages. A tin placed in the oven slid to the front when the oven door was opened and Julie developed an enviable skill in catching it as it slid off the oven shelf. Difficult to prepare your breakfast grill however as the eggs all slipped to the front of the pan.

Then there is the question of sleeping bags or duvets, but that's a story for another time.

M D